Rover Jeopardy - Episode 1
by McCracken
Summary: The result of me watching Celebrity Jeopardy too many times...


"Rover Jeopardy - Episode 1"  
  
By: McCracken  
  
Road Rovers and anything that involve them are property of WB. Bear is property of Steven Today. Xander is  
property of Kristen Coughlan. XL766 and Sam are property of McCracken. Jeopardy is property of CBS. Original  
concept from Saturday Night Live's 'Celebrity Jeopardy'.  
  
Setting: RRHQ, Game Show room. It looks like the set of Jeopardy. Bear is behind a podium.  
  
Bear (Happy)  
Hello and welcome to Rover Jeopardy. In case you are just tunning in, this is the Road Rover's attempt to  
raise money for chairities around the world. Now, let me assure our audience that all of contestants are now  
wearing pants.  
  
The audience laughs and claps.  
  
Bear (Happy)  
Right, now let's meet our contestants.  
  
The camera goes to the right showing Xander.  
  
Bear (Voice only, Happy)  
In third place is Xander with negative 4,000 dollars.  
  
Xander (Slight British Accent, Happy)  
I'm a late bloomer Bear, and in Double Jeopardy, I'm going to bloom!  
  
Bear (Voice Only, Dry)  
Yeah, I'll bet. (Happy) Next we have Sam in second place with negative 200 dollars.  
  
Sam (Happy)  
Hey it's really great to be here, time for the Jeopardy! I love it, your father loves it, your aunt watches it every  
night in the VCR.  
  
Bear (Voice Only, Happy)  
Uhuh, and finally XL766 is in the lead with eight dollars. Don't know how he got it, but oh well.  
  
XL766 (Blunt)  
Hey, check out the podium  
  
Instead of saying "XL766", the podium says "Craving Morehead".  
  
Bear (Voice Only, Confused)  
Who's Craving Morehead?  
  
XL766 (Laughing)  
Obviously you are! Hahaha!  
  
Bear thinks the joke over in his head and realizes what XL766 is saying. Bear sighs.  
  
Bear (Explaining)  
Anyway, our catogories are (The camera shows each catogory when Bear says it) "Potent Potables", "Therapists",  
"Presidents on the One Dollar Bill", "Point to Your Own Head", "Words That End in Amburger", "Your Ass,  
Or A Hole in the Ground", and finally "The Number 10", I might add that the correct answer to every question  
in that catogory is '10'. XL766, you're in the lead so the board is yours.  
  
XL766 (Blunt)  
Um, that's not my name.  
  
Bear gives an annoyed sigh.  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
Craving Morehead.  
  
XL766 (Laughing)  
I bet you are Bear.  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
Oh just pick a catogory already!  
  
XL766 (Blunt)  
Ok, I'll take 'Words That End in Amburger'.  
  
Bear (Blunt)  
For how much?  
  
XL766 (Sarcastic)  
Surprise me you flithy bastard.  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
There is no need for that. Let's do 'Words That End in Amburger' for 600. This is the only word that ends with  
Ambuger.  
  
Xander rings in.  
  
Xander (Blunt)  
What is Mt. Saint Helen's, I'll take 'Words That End in Amburger' for 800.  
  
Bear (Stern)  
I'm sorry that's incorrect. Anyone else?  
  
Sam (Sad)  
Well, Xan took my answer.  
  
Bear (Confused)  
What do you mean Xan took your answer? Mt. Saint Helen's doesn't end in Amburger.  
  
XL766 (Annoyed)  
Jeez Bear, just give the answer away why don't ya!  
  
A buzzer goes off.  
  
Bear (Blunt)  
Ok, Sam, the board is now yours.  
  
Sam (Explaining)  
Well seeing how this is Jeopardy and there are one, two, three, four, five, six, ah, seven catogories....  
  
Bear (Dry)  
Right, how about you pick XL766.  
  
XL766 (Sly)  
I'll play your game you rogue. I'll take 'The Rapists' for 200.  
  
Bear (Surprised)  
No, no! That's Therapists, not Rapisits! Let's just do 'The Number 10' for 200. How many fingers do you have?  
  
Xander rings in.  
  
Xander (Blunt)  
5, I'll take 'The Number 10' for 400.  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
No.  
  
Sam rings in.  
  
Sam (Blunt)  
Twenty.  
  
Bear (Mad)  
No! You have ten friggin' fingers you idiots!  
  
XL766 (Mad)  
Now you back off Bear, you wouldn't have known that if it wasn't for that card in front of you. This dog reads  
from a card!  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
Whatever, let's just "Point to Your Own Head" for 800. Now, when I finish talking, just ring in and point to  
your head.  
  
XL766 rings in.  
  
Bear (Happy)  
Ah yes, XL766, point to your own head.  
  
XL766 flicks Bear off. Bear gives an annoyed sigh.  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
Fine whatever, anyone else.  
  
Xander and Sam look confused.  
  
Bear (Surprised)  
None of you know? None of you can point to your own head? (Dry) And the show has reached a new low. Let's  
just end this and go to Final Jeopardy. All you have to do is write a letter, any letter and you win.  
  
The Jeopardy song starts playing as Xander, Sam, and XL766 write their answers. The song stops and Bear  
walks up to Xander's podium.  
  
Bear (Blunt)  
Ok, let's see what Xan put down.  
  
A blue screen takes over the screen and there's a picture of an eye. The screen goes back to normal.  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
You drew an eye.  
  
Xander (Confused)  
I is a letter, isn't it?  
  
Bear (Sarcastic)  
Tell me, are you British or just plain stupid?  
  
Bear walks over to XL766's podium.  
  
Bear (Blunt)  
XL766, let's see what you put down.  
  
The screen becomes blue and a picture of the top half of a horse and Bear's head underneath it appear. Sweat  
is coming off of the horse and Bear. The screen goes back to normal.  
  
Bear (Dry)  
Is this what I think it is?  
  
Bear leans over to see the rest of XL766's answer.  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
Yes, it's a horse having sex with me.  
  
XL766 (Proud)  
Well go ahead Bear, show the people my work.  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
Well that's diffently not a letter. Let's see what Sam said.  
  
Bear walks over to Sam's podium. The screen goes blue and and the number 2 appears. The screen goes back  
to normal.  
  
Bear (Blunt)  
You wrote the number two.  
  
Sam (Proud)  
Aha, the letter two, my friend.  
  
Bear looks at Sam confused.  
  
Sam (Honest)  
I can't read or write.  
  
Bear (Blunt)  
Well that's all the time for Rover Jeopardy, I hope we never do this again. 


End file.
